KakaNaru
by Thorn In Your Side
Summary: Three separate oneshots on the pairing when I was going through my KakaNaru phase…it didn’t last long, but I spewed these monstrosities out. And now I’m releasing them onto you! –evil laugh-
1. The Side Effects of Rain

Kakanaru

**KakaNaru**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! –except for one very cute plushie-**

_Summary: Three separate oneshots on the pairing when I was going through my KakaNaru phase…it didn't last long, but I spewed these monstrosities out. And now I'm releasing them onto you!! –evil laugh-_

**Chapter One: The Side Effects of Rain**

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

Rain. It does something you, to be lying on your bed, watching water trickle down your window, to hear the rumble of thunder and see the flash of lightning, to know that you're fortunate enough to watch, not feel. To know that no mission is waiting for be completely despite the deluge, to know that no comrade lies in a rapidly filling ditch, awaiting your assistance.

I lie on my stomach, my fingers stroking the scar on my eye.

Rain does stupid things to people. Tempts them with nonsense thoughts of confessing unconfessable love, of dancing in the redeeming sky water, to kiss, to make love to a beautiful blond with eyes the color of laughter…

I stop myself. See what I mean? The rain is even getting to me.

But still…as I drift off, I can't help but wonder what my favorite student is thinking of the rain. Naruto…

0000000000000000000000

"Kakashi-sensei," I sigh.

The rain is so beautiful. I wish he was here, with me, in bed. I wish that I could tell him what he means to me.

But no…he doesn't love me. There's just no way he could love me. I'm just an ex-student, returned after two long years. He didn't even seem particularly happy to see me, he was more excited about that stupid book I got him from ero-sennin.

I growl, and flip onto my belly.

Why the hell would I get a gift for him, _**only**_ him? When I didn't get anything Iruka-sensei or Sakura-chan, why would I go to the trouble to get him something he really wants?

…Not that it _**was**_ much trouble, but still!

The pitter patter of the rain on the window sounds full of promise, of romance.

I should tell him. Rejection be damned, I should just tell him.

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm at his apartment building, my thin white shirt drenched, my boxers clinging limply to my shivering legs. I rub my arms to get rid of the goose bumps that have nothing to do with the weather as I gaze at his window on the third floor.

"Ok, let's go, dattebayo," I mutter to myself. A quick hump gets me to his window. There he is, in his bed, his broad, bare back shimmering the shadows of the raindrops on his window. As I obstruct the panes, my shadow falls on him and for one wild moment I wish I could do Kage Nui like Shikamaru, so that my shadow could jump his bones.

I shake my head.

What the hell am I doing? This is my sensei, my goddamned teacher, and I want my _**shadow to jump his bones**_?

Oh well, no use denying what I've already accepted. Wow, that was a wise sentence. I should use that when I become Hokage.

I sigh wistfully.

"Oh for gods' sakes, do something!"

"Waugh!" It's a miracle I keep my balance, I'm so startled. Pakkun, Kakashi-sensei's nin dog, is watching me with a bored expression.

"Don't just sit there sighing, you voyeur!" he snaps.

"What's a voyeur?" I ask, confused.

"It's you. Someone who gets pleasure from watching, if you catch my drift."  
I pale. "You mean like a pervert? I'm not a pervert, dattebayo!"  
"Then get in there," Pakkun nods to Kakashi-sensei, "The window isn't booby-trapped, or even locked. He trusts us nin dogs to guard the place and I can give my word that we won't attack you."  
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I lay wide awake in the dark. Naruto has just yelled outside my window. Naruto. Outside my window. In the rain.

Oh, kami help me, if that boy comes in here I don't know what I'll do to him. But the nin dogs…Pakkun, Bull and them, they won't let him in, right? Right?  
Wrong.

Remind me to roast those dogs on a spit, Naruto's opened the window, I can feel the breeze spattering raindrops on my back. Squelch, squelch…he's right there, I can _**feel **_him standing by my bed.

"Kakashi-sensei?" he asked, an icy finger poking my back, "You're awake, aren't you?"  
"I'm not going to train with you," I tell him, not rolling over. Oh, please let him leave, please let him go away…

"I—no, I wanted to tell you something," he whispers hesitantly.

Something in his voice brings alive a tiny flicker of hope in my heart. I turn my head so that Obito's eye meets his cerulean one.

"Kakashi-sensei," he begins, taking a deep breath, "I like you!"  
Kami save me, did my head just explode? Or did Uzumaki Naruto just say that he likes me?"

"I like you very much sensei, with all my heart, with all the passion of youth, as much more than just a sensei!"  
Oh sweet mother of god, he sounds like Gai taught him how to confess.

I shouldn't do anything. I should definitely not try to speak. I should call Bull to kick him out, I should scream. I absolutely should not touch him.

But my arms _**reach out anyway**_, to pull him to my chest, my big mouth _**opens and talks anyway**_, to tell him I love him, ad my cock, jeez, my treacherous cock _**rises up anyway**_, to show him how much I love him.

And despite it all…despite the facts that I am his teacher, a man, older, Naruto _**melts into me anyway**_.

"Damn rain," I mutter, "It's all your fault…"

Then I let it get to me, I let the magic get to me, and I show the kyuubi-carrier just how good I can make him feel.

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

XD two more chapters!

Kakashi's POV is hard to write….T.T


	2. Homecoming

Kakanaru

**KakaNaru **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!**

**Chapter Two: Homecoming**

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

"There are the gates!" Genma calls back to us, "I can see them!"  
"Ahhhh, we have finally reached home," Gai sighs next to me, "After a victorious battle so grueling, we may finally see the youthful faces of our kith and kin! Is it not a most invigorating thought, eternal rival?"

I roll my eyes and glance back. "Kurenai, how're you holding up?"

She flashes me what is now a rare smile. She's clearly excited about seeing her three year old daughter, just like Gai is excited about his 'kith and kin' (by which I mean his team) and Genma is excited about his new secret girlfriend.

What am I excited about? Or more precisely, who? Well! My little kitsune, of course. I can only hope Godaime-sama hasn't sent him out on a mission…it would be just like Tsunade to do that; I swear the woman hates me.

And after six months with Gai's youthfulness, Kurenai with her 'oh-I-hope-Shikamaru's-taking-good-care-of-my-baby' and _**Genma**_, I really need a friendly face.

Preferably a whiskered one.

We walk in through the gates, and the first thing I hear is…

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!!"  
I turn to see an navy blue-orange-blond blur, and the next thing I know I'm flat on my back, a grinning junchuuriki on my chest.

"Naruto," I groan, "Hi."

"I missed you!" he yells, "Dattebayo!"  
Well, that's good to know. "Naruto," I gasp, "You're sitting on my broken rib!"  
"Oh, my bad," he says guiltily, scooting back. Oh, much better: now he's on my crotch.

"Do you think you can actually get off?"

He sticks his tongue out, but obliges, hauling me up with him.

"C'mon, c'mon! the whole team's been waiting for we, we gotta go say hi!"

I grab his collar before he can take off. Damn, I've forgotten how hyperactive this kid is. But you can paint me fuchsia if he thinks I'm gonna wait one more minute to jump his bones.

Six months, man, six freaking months and no love. _**Of course**_ I'm horny.

"There's someone else I want to greet first," I whisper, and sling him onto my shoulder.

"Uwah!" he yelps, before I poof us to an isolated alley, "Who?"

I look around. Damn, I was aiming for my apartment, but this'll do. I push him against the wall, grinning as he automatically reaches up to peel my mask off, looking into those blue pools of innocence.

"You," I laugh, crushing my lips against his. My breath hitches as he licks my lips, and I only part them a centimeter before he shoves his tongue down my throat. I push him back into his mouth, nipping at his lower lip to remind him who's in charge, and he moans.

God, I've missed this brat. _**My**_ brat. My Naruto.

"Kakashi-sensei," he whimpers, pressing up against me, "Six months…"

I raise an eyebrow. The evidence that he's just as sex-starved as I am is rising up against my pants.

"Well _**hello**_, Naruto," I smirk, "I've missed you too."

"AHEM."

I freeze and turn slowly, but I already know whose chakra that is.

Sasuke stands a few yards away, arms crossed and eyes narrowed accusingly. Next to him, Sakura is gaping, and Yamato is turning a fetching shade of rouge. Sai is watching with an intrigued expression.

"Kyaaaaaaaa!" Naruto ducks his head into my chest, cheeks warm with embarrassment, "Teme!"

"What…a…GAMEPLAN!" Sakura shrieks, and then clasps a hand to her mouth, horrified. That girl…she always was a yaoii pervert.

"Kyaaaaaaaa!" Naruto wails, "Sakura-chan!"

"Do that again," Sai prompts, "I think I felt my cock twitch."

Yamato's face turns a few shades darker. I sweatdrop.

"Kyaaaaaaaa!" Naruto squeals again, "Asshole!"

Sasuke rolls his eyes. "Get a room," he sniffs, "Then find us at the Ichiriki ramen stand when you're done molesting each other. Sakura, Sai, Yamato-san, come. We're leaving."

Naruto squeaks and I pick him up bridal style. "Ossou," I grin, and depart with my uke.

"Kyaaaaaaaa!"

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

**heh, poor embarrassed Naru-chan…**


	3. Halloween

Kakanaru

**KakaNaru**

**Disclaimer: You know it, I don't own it!**

**Chapter Three: Halloween**

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

I check the windows. Locked, curtains drawn, with a nin-dog guarding each. Good. The door? Doubly locked, with a chakra seal, and Pakkun's guarding that. Very good. Phone? Switched off. Lights? Off. I sigh, convinced that I am safe for the evening.

Hey, I hear you over there, sniggering. I'm not **paranoid**. This isn't a daily routine for me. Tonight happens to be special.

Tonight happens to be Halloween.

I fall onto my couch, with my favorite book, The Principia Mathematica (just kidding, Icha, Icha Paradise of course) and turn on my gas fire.

Halloween. The most hated night of the year. There's something fundamentally wrong about the whole concept. I mean, you're celebrating evil spirits, encouraging kids to ask for and accept teeth-rotting candy from strangers, providing an excuse for horny hormonal teens and young adults to dress up as whorishly as they like, go to unchaperoned parties and get completely plastered…and oh, all the candy! It's a dentist's nightmare out there, I tell you.

I want no part in it.

There've been rumors of course. Hatake Kakashi doesn't like Halloween. Why? Ask the people of Konoha and you'll get some very interesting answers.

Heh. If only they knew.

I glance up when I hear some suspicious noises. Someone is scuffling around on the terrace. I curse. The fireplace! The gas fire gives out no smoke, so they're going to assume they can get in through the…

"UWAH!"

Chimney. Oh hell. I dive for the switch to turn off the fire, just as my unwanted guest lands on the fake firewood.

"Argh!" it screams, and shoots out into the hall. I wince in sympathy; the fire may have been turned off, but the wood would still have been plenty hot enough to hurt a bum. Wait a minute…I'd know that particular bum anywhere…

"Naruto?"

He turns. I gape. The boy's wearing this tight, short, _**school girl**_ outfit. Like, anime school girl. With the itsy bitsy skirt and everything. My heart starts to beat a little faster.

"The hell…?"

"I lost a bet to Sasu-teme," he says simply, sprawling himself on my couch, "He said to break into your house and find out what you do. You know they think you do voodoo rituals in here on Halloween nights, eating candy by the bag by yourself?"

"Charming…and you're wearing that because…?"

"I lost a bet to Anko-sensei too. When she found out about teme's bet, she told me to wear this. She seemed to think it was funny," he frowned, "All the girls did."

"I see…"

"Oh," he says, pulling out a tiny pumpkin shaped box, "These are for you."

I sigh and open it, to fid chocolates. I look up at the blond. He shrugs. "I have to make you eat them."

"Okay…" I pop one into my mouth. It tastes good. Really, really good. I take another, and another, and soon the box is empty. I shake my head. The room is magnified, blurred, and crystal clear at the same time. I focus on Naruto, and I can't look away. My blood seems to be thickening in my veins, my temperature rising giddily, my heart thumping in my chest like an African drum.

"Naruto," I growl, "The hell?"

"An aphrodisiac," he coos, "I put it in myself. Happy Halloween."

I moan as he rubs his hands all over my chest. "Oh, kawaii kitsune, a very happy Halloween."

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

**O.O weird. I had no idea this one was so bad…it reads like the intro to a hentai movie. –shakes head- ah well. My bad, my bad. **


End file.
